next option is to control the vac single to the actuator but what i really want is a valve i can open under boost as well to assist with turbo flow and parasitic drag.
You & I are shopping for the same thing - a dual port actuator. PWD says Andrew @ Richwood is selling them now, and I also found them at Whipple.
So for a "pull" type actuator, you can use vacuum on the top port above the diaphragm to pull it open for bypass operation, then use boost pressure on the bottom port, below the diaphragm to control boost. Sounds easy, but it'll probably take some fiddling with solenoid valves and software to make it work in the real world.